The last two weeks have been filled with constant anxiety. I can’t blame the holidays, because there is very little that is Christmasy in Phoenix.
I wish I could place it, but I can’t figure out exactly what is wrong. I go outside and have to remind myself that I’m fine and I’m safe.
The hardest part of this anxiety is how difficult it is on my closest friends, who try to be well meaning and try to empathize, only to get frustrated and give me even more space.
I miss feeling Christmas. Right now, I’m trying to think of ways to improve myself and form new habits over the next 100 days in hopes that 365 days really from now, I can enjoy the holidays and this will all be only a memory of the dark night of the soul.